Monday, 31 March 2008

Moving on?

Handh has just asked where we are moving too. Good question but since I have no idea, I can't really answer. I don't even know if the house will sell with the property market being what it is.

I don't know if it's all the "nasties" that have happened for what seems like such a long time or maybe it's just time for a change.
All I do know though is that without Yogi this house doesn't really seem like "home" any more. Larry is being superb but it still feels like there is something missing.

So, maybe, it's time to stop worrying about stuff and just see what happens.
A delightful estate agent (seems like a contradiction in terms doesn't it?) came round this evening who seemed to think the house will sell easily. But then they all say that don't they?
We shall see.
Perhaps it will be a new adventure?

Sunday, 30 March 2008

British summertime...

Not in Larry's book. He simply WILL NOT lose that extra hour that he believes he is entitled to. This morning, I needed to get up early. A thousand things to do with very little time to fit them all in. Estate agents are coming tomorrow and windows need to be cleaned, the house needs to be put back together after a mamouth round of decorating and in between that a family lunch. Does Larry see the urgency to GET MOVING? No.
Can't blame him. Slumber on Larry, you probably have exactly the right idea ;o)

Friday, 28 March 2008

Larry is back in business!

This week has been a turning point. Larry is back in the land of the living and not just a dog who looks like he is about to give up. Right now he is lying near me as I type away. Cannot quite describe how happy that makes me. It started on Monday when he came up and pinched my sock. Since then he has never looked back. He has had a shower too! He loves to be showered and when he realised it was his turn, he was there! Each morning he has been up to perform "his dance" as well. At first, he would just pop up for the dance and then shoot downstairs again. Now, he is back to hanging about with the humans wherever they may be. What a result. I never realised losing Yogi would have such a devastating effect on him but it just goes to show how important the relationships are that dogs create with each other even if they don't show it like we do. Toys are back on his agenda too. Honky the pheasant has been pretty much redundant over the last month, now he is being shaken with the best of them!
I feel like I have my friend back again.....

Are we on a turning point too? A bit cautious to say the least but this week mum has written her complaint letter to the hospital and is out and about with Fudge and enjoying her "new" car. So she must be feeling more positive. We all clubbed together and bought her a newer car so that she and Fudge could enjoy a bit more comfort as they went about their business. Also, as it is more modern, the steering would be lighter for her following her mastectomy. Less than 2 weekes after the op she is driving again - amazing woman.

I am praying that we can all have a bit of peace and tranquility now.
Fingers crossed....

I have been reading a Angela and Ari's blog and you both seem to be having a tough time at the moment. Just so you know, I am thinking of you both and hoping things get better for you soon.

P.S. How can I be so useless?....I have just burnt spaghetti. Oh well, I'm sure some of it must be edible :o)

Monday, 24 March 2008

Larry has just come upstairs!......and nicked one of my socks.
Everything is going to be OK :o)))

Saturday, 22 March 2008

26 days later....

Well, it's been 26 days since Yogi died. I cannot say that they are getting too much easier for me. Sometimes it's Ok and I can think of him without crying. Sometimes it is just so overwhelmingly painful.

People's reactions can be a bit off too. One "friend" said "oh well, you have another one don't you?" A couple of others have said things like "oh, what a shame, he was the nice one wasn't he?" Last night, one insensitive g!t said that Larry's behavioural issues should be dealt with with a shotgun!!! He was joking but......Rich made a comment along the lines of.. when your child behaves differently, would you shoot it? Wish I could remain so calm. I felt like punching his lights out.

But of course there is the other side of the coin where some people have been lovely and very understanding.

Larry seems to be doing better, he still won't come upstairs though. I so miss him doing the shower dance in the mornings. That is where he would grab the bathmat and fling it against the shower door in time to the water hitting it :o). Yesterday, Rich brought him up on the lead and dance he did. As soon as the water was turned off though, he shot back downstairs. Maybe it will just take some time. He is playing more and I think Fudge being about is helping him. She is going back to Mum's on Monday and I wonder how he will be then....I think it will be another period of adjustment for him.
Since I am "Billy No Mates" this weekend, (Rich is off at some weirdo's convention - well a jazz /rock concert in Wales :o)) I am going to veg out on the sofa with my easter eggs, a glass of wine, my furry friends and settle down to watch Ashes to Ashes. Philip Glenister aka Gene Hunt is my hero just now....

Larry eating the insensitive g!t ......or is it just wishful thinking :o)Anyone for dessert?????

My beautiful baby who we all miss so very much.....

Monday, 17 March 2008

St Patrick's day 1989 - Remembering Monty

Today is St Patrick's day. 19 years ago to the day that I met my very first rescue dog. It is a strange story and once again it makes me believe that dogs choose their owners and not the other way around.
I had been helping out at a local rescue centre for a couple of years, fostering elderly and feral cats. The centre dealt mainly in felines but never turned away a dog in need either. I had a call from a woman who had seen a dog from her window. He had been laying under the lampost for over an hour and she was worried. She had called the dog warden who informed her that he had been chasing after a dog of that description for a few days but had been unable to catch him. By the time she called me, the dog warden I guess was "off duty" and had all but given up the chase. The woman was reluctant to approach the dog as although he didn't seem aggressive, she was nervous. She asked me to come along and see if I could do anything. It was a cold night I remember it so clearly) and armed with a lead, some food and a bit of dutch courage since I didn't have that much experience of dogs, I wandered along to see if I could help. The dog was still laying under the lampost almost as if he was waiting for something. I wasn't sure how to approach him/her so I stood still for a moment and then called. More or less immediately, he got up and wandered towards me. As he approached I let him sniff my hand, he seemed friendly enough, didn't appear to be hurt so I slipped a lead over his neck. He just stood and watched me. The woman seemed relieved and returned to her house. I was left standing like a lemon with a dog that I had no idea what to do with on a freezing cold night! First daft thought was that maybe he was lost, perhaps if I walked around with him he might lead me to his home. We wandered, he sniffed but took me absolutely nowhere. I decided we couldn't keep wandering aimlessly so thought I had better take him home with me. I had a house full of cats and it was late at night. I didn't want to just let him in in case there was carnage. So next best thing for him was to make him a warm bed in the shed. I got a load of coats and blankets and some warm food and settled him in. He seemed remarkably calm and took to being snuggled in the shed really well. I decided to call the police and see if anyone had reported him lost. They hadn't. So a sleepless night was spent a) going to check on him and b) wondering what to do with him. He was a Lab x, quite big and probably about 8 or 9 years old. He was gorgeous....Rich had been working late and met him on one of the forays outside. They bonded instantly and I knew that I was lost. Even better, in the morning I let him out of the shed in the garden, he came straight to the patio doors and just calmly looked in - while the cats stared out at him :o). There was no barking and I suppose because of that, the cats were not nervous. It seemed too good to be true. OK so now we wanted him to stay. We had to wait a month before he could be officially classed as ours. What a nightmare that was. Each day praying that no-one claimed him. No-one did and once the four weeks were over we could relax. He was a superb dog, no major hang-ups, perfect manners and amazing off the lead. We couldn't have wished for an easier induction into canine care.
A few weeks later a neighbour stopped and said that they recognised him. They said his name was Rocky and he belonged to a man who had had him from a pup. The man, who lived locally, had taken on a German Shepherd who had more or less pushed Monty/Rocky out. The weird thing was, that from time to time we saw this man and his new dog, Monty never once looked at him and he never once looked at Monty.
Monty was a superb dog, travelled everywhere, introduced us to many beautiful walks and became a huge part of the family. Even the cats loved him.
He spent 6 very happy years with us, then he suddenly became ill and was diagnosed with liver cancer. It was very quick and very devastating. But boy, did he teach us a lot about dog care.
Since Monty, the dogs have become more challenging but equally lovely in their own right. All of them have had so much to give and so much to teach.
Thank you Monty, you were one very special hound.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

I have an award!!!

I am so pleased! Alison very kindly (and not quite sure why :o)) has nominated me for this. Thank you Alison - you make me smile too. I want to award this to everyone who has supported me in the last few months. Not all of you have blogs of your own but I don't think that matters, you have all been and are fantastic.




Graham Prince and Tilly too!!



Dogga, Thank you for visiting, your blog has made me chuckle loads.

Other news from the front.....

Mum has had her operation today and has responded brilliantly. She is wide awake, not in too much pain and having a laugh. Which is superb. Or should I say a miracle? She may need another op if the cancer had gone to the lymph nodes but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Larry is still struggling I think. He used to play all the time with Yogi and considering he is a rather unsociable dog (to put it mildly) that was quite amazing. I think he is missing his buddy more than he cares to admit. He still won't come upstairs which is a real shame. He does seem a little more lively with Fudge here to stay though. I think we all just need time to adjust.

I have had a shock of my own but better now. The day after Yogi died, I found a lump in my breast. Couldn't believe it and must admit I felt rather numb and sort of "I don't really care what happens now". Anyway, I went to the doctors who referred me straight away to the hospital. A miracle in itself as I thought the waiting time was weeks not days. Yesterday I had an appointment with the surgeon who told me they were fine, just cysts. Must admit, I didn't feel that numb when they stuck the needle in!!! All is fine now though, a little smaller in the "upstairs" department. But generally relieved.

Today is the first day I have been able to talk about Yogi without a breakdown. That's a first.

Graham, your advice about wailing, I have been taking it, yes, it does help

I have just visited Teresa's blog, how my heart is going out to you. You are one strong lady but you probably don't feel it right now. My thoughts are with you, Cole and Bridget.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Life without Yogi....

....Is hell. I can't describe it in any other way. He was so full of life and such a massive part of our lives. He has left the most unbelievable open wound.

When we first said goodbye, in a way there was a sense of relief in as much as no more worrying, no more checking, no more wondering when it would happen. Plus the incredible grief that went with it. Now, everything just seems so final. His ashes are back, there is nothing left anymore. In Norfolk it seemed easier somehow. Surrounded by people and other distractions. Larry seemed OK too. Back at home everything just feels so empty. I'm not sure if Larry is depressed. He hasn't ventured upstairs at all and just seems happy to sleep in his basket. He still wants to walk though. It could be his hips are sore (he has arthritis and hip displacia). I have upped his medication but so far it hasn't made any difference. I will give it a little more time and then take him to see John. I am trying to put a brave face on it but really struggling. I need to because I can't afford to sink. Mum is having a mastectomy next week and I have to stay strong. Not doing so well today. I now (in Handh's words) have a soggy keyboard again.